erospainter: Q: In The Nine Rooms of Happiness , Dr. Catherine Birndorf writes that being too tired for sex is “one of the biggest epidemics facing women today.” Do you agree? A: Absolutely. It’s true for men, too. Sex requires leisure time. But as I wrote in Sexual Survival in the Modern World, for most people I see in my Manhattan office the idea of leisure time is just a quaint memory. For such couples—and there are a lot of them—I recommend they cultivate frequent sexual arousal together, even when they’re too busy or tired to actually have sex. The phrase I use is “simmering.” Simmering takes a couple of minutes at the most. It’s nice to simmer every day. Eventually leads to more sex, too.
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erospainter:

Q: In The Nine Rooms of Happiness , Dr. Catherine Birndorf writes that being too tired for sex is “one of the biggest epidemics facing women today.” Do you agree?

A: Absolutely. It’s true for men, too. Sex requires leisure time. But as I wrote in Sexual Survival in the Modern World, for most people I see in my Manhattan office the idea of leisure time is just a quaint memory. For such couples—and there are a lot of them—I recommend they cultivate frequent sexual arousal together, even when they’re too busy or tired to actually have sex. The phrase I use is “simmering.” Simmering takes a couple of minutes at the most. It’s nice to simmer every day. Eventually leads to more sex, too.

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